**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
