i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
