I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
