I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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