No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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