Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
