it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
