I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
This is my gift to your gina
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
