Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
