I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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