I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
