I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
