it's too hot outside to masturbate.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
