just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
