this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I have aggressive nipples.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
