why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Let's paint friendship bongs
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
