Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
too bad you live with your parents still
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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