No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Every concussion has its silver lining
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
