I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
