please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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