thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
