even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
