Will you blow on my dice?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
