YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
