who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
