You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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