we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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