Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
one might say we're banned from that church
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
