You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
