I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
