I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
sarcasm needs its own font
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
