I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
