Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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