u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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