i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
