Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
