do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm too high and old for this...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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