This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
