If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Randomize
