tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
