Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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