its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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