I feel great
I just peed on a car
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
