i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
false alarm. still invincible.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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