Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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