the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
