It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize