My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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