We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
