he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
